The World Needs More John Wayne: Honesty, Integrity, and Balls

Over the last few months trust has become an issue for Canadians. Trust in government, trust in people, trust in spouses, trust in churches, and even trust in themselves. Can you trust the guys at work? What are people saying about you? What ever happened to the strength we garnered from trust? My father said that you can tell the worth of a man (or woman) by the value they put on their word. If you say you will be there, then be there! Yet today I see kids who tell their friends they will meet at the shopping center and when the kid goes the friends don’t show up. Then when they call to see what happen the other kid will say “Oh I changed my mind.” It does not phase them that they went against their word and wasted their friend’s time.

What has changed? Why would our children not understand the value of their word? I have a theory. The school system, parents, and the media do not talk about the Golden rule any more. Take John Wayne. What made him the man we all wanted to be? When John told you something you could bet your life (literally) that he not only meant every word but that he would follow through. His quiet strength and full belief in what he said told you this is a man. How long has it been since you were with a person like this?

Another one of his great strengths was his common sense. You knew that his belief in common sense is what gave him his unshakeable sense of purpose. In El Dorado he is tough on Robert Mitchum who has become a drunk over a lost love. You know that he is Mitchum’s friend, but he won’t put up with anything but recovering the man he knew. It may seem simplistic, but common sense is simple. Right/wrong, needed/not, good/bad, first things first and the frills come second (something government has lost track of); it’s simple. How do you teach the golden rule? You make it the rule in your life and you prove it to others by being unwavering in your beliefs. Then you pass that rule on and you hold each person accountable to it. Finally you don’t deal or compromise on their word or yours. Period. What do you think and how important is surrounding yourself with people who share your beliefs?

Oh here's a final gem from Mr. Wayne.

"I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted, and I won't be laid a hand on. I don't do these things to other people and I expect the same from them." 

Simple right?

Canadian Fathers: a Profile of My Own Dad.

CANADIANS LOVE FATHERS.

Walking my daughter down the aisle.

What is a father? I have struggled with that definition all my life. My father was a great influence in my life even though we barely had any real time together. But I do believe that he influenced me in many ways. When my brother died at the age of four from leukemia, both my parents never really recovered personally, nor in their relationship. But I do know that his teaching to me was clear and concise in the brief moments we talked. My dad was far from perfect but I chose to listen to the good things and I will be forever grateful that I did.

Today, as a father of two grown adults, I have come to see the fruits of my fathers’ teaching.

First of all, he taught me to accept that there is only one captain in my life when it comes to steering its direction. God gives us the free will to do what we want with it, be it good or bad.

He told me that the course of my life will not always be simple or easy, and that if it was I would never learn to be tough enough to make the hard decisions.

 He said “Sometimes life sucks and it’s up to you how you deal with it”. He told me to hold doors for people as a sign of respect. He said to dress for success. “Whether you’re the prime minister or a ditch digger, dress for the job and dress clean”.

He told me once that if there ever was trouble and he had to choose between me and saving my mom, then mom came first. He said with her help I could be replaced. I knew he was kidding, but it made me feel that he valued my mom above all else.

Proud Dad. (photo by Adam Pap)

“Be the best friend you can even when those around you do not follow such beliefs.” “What goes around comes around so if you’re going to spend your life hurling crap at people you better be ready to duck.”

 “Why play a game if you can’t win or lose? Where is the learning about life in that?”

There were many other sayings and each one was taken to heart as I grew to understand them.

Today, I try and follow the many rules both my parents gave me. I am teaching my children and others these time-honoured values in the hope that it will make their journey honourable, if not easy. I also learned from my dad’s sad mistakes in life. You see, he also taught me to learn from the mistakes of those before us. Mistakes I do not tend to duplicate.

My lovely wife.

When my dad passed away, we were leaving his apartment for the last time and two ladies stopped me to ask if I was his son. They said to me, “Your father was always a gentleman, and in all the time we had known him he had never said a bad thing about anyone”. Not a bad epitaph for any man.

It was these things that helped shape my life. Of course, I could have chosen to ignore his words but that would have been a foolish waste of life full of lessons.

Finally, I think he would say to children having trouble relating or even loving their fathers, to look for the good in him. And if you cannot find the good, then don’t duplicate the bad...because that would be the last thing your dad would want.

Canadians & Canada Day

Canadians love Canada Day! It’s our chance to howl to the world that Canada is the greatest country in the world. As I sit with my family in a home that my parents could only dream of, I realize how truly blessed we are. Today I heard a stat about the Ottawa Police. Out of tens of thousands of incident calls, the police only had to actually discharge their weapons 43 times--and that was to put down injured animals. No humans were fired upon. This of course is a testament to the skills of the Ottawa police, but it is also a testament to the people of Canada and our society.

We can drink our water straight from a tap. We can eat our produce in safety. We can walk the streets at night and not be afraid. We can marry who we want, live where we want without government intervention, demonstrate on any issue and not be shot, and vote in our representation without fearing for your life. We have the cleanest air, the most fresh water lakes, and every type of climatic zone (except jungle) you can think of to enjoy. If you go to the Canada Day celebration on Parliament Hill, you will see a hundred thousand faces of every race, creed, and colour. Each one celebrating the fact they are Canadian.

It is this great celebration that reminds us how wonderful Canada is and how much we need to stand and protect this land. It is Canadians who are ultimately responsible for this country and Canada Day reminds us of what is at stake. God Bless Canada and her people. Be safe out there and hug a Canadian!

Photo credit: Bill Kent